“Scent of a Penis”: French Artist Prankster Stephane Berard’s Penis Perfume Joke is No Joke, or is It?

If they can make a parfum de vagina, then why not an eau de cock? I can’t find too much info about Stephane Berard’s “Arome Saveur Penis” that is to say, a liquid that is supposed to taste like penis. Unlike the silly vagina smell in a bottle, though, I think this one has way better potential and according to my preliminary research the artist tried to market it sell it to various condom manufacturers who didn’t bite (pun fully intended). But I really do think this is a great idea. Really the logic is simple. The only way you’d want to put some kind of flavour on a condom is if you were going to wear a hat for a blowjob, you know, safe sex and all, and with the”flavoured condoms” flavours usually being something insane like kiwi fruit or mango, let’s think long and hard (pun intended again) about how many penises smell like tropical fruits? Then again, since I’m assuming the majority of ‘blowjobs with condoms’ only occur between prostitutes and johns, perhaps disguising the scent of a penis with a tropical fruit smell is actually preferred.

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Russian Art Collective Has a Public Orgy in Honour of Dmitry Medvedev

I gotta give it to the ‘art collective’ “Voina” (War) for taking the whole naked protester thing up a notch and actually orgy-ing out in the Moscow Biological Museum with this “action.” More Dada than activism, this was some kind of nod to Russian pagan past, and the practice of worshipping the bear in pre-Christian Russia (Medvedev’s name is derived for the word for bear: ‘medved’). Oh yeah, and an excuse to orgy out in public.

“On February 29 Voina has staged the “Fuck for the heir Puppy Bear!” action. The action took place in Moscow’s Biological museum in time for the upcoming presidential elections in Russia. The collective fuck action in the space of a museum is our parting wish to the young leader at the beginning of his long path, our way of artistically supporting the yet inexperienced Puppy Bear.

As usual, the public and civic order guards decided not to intervene with the course of the action. ”

Pics are here and the video is here.

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Erotic Falconry

Swooping down from the open skies and landing right into the “WTF?” category comes “Erotic Falconry”, some type of art project and/or internet joke that looks very, very dangerous if it was actually real. The whole don’t do this at home kind of deal. Good for a chuckle or two, in that WTF/Dada kind of way. Thanks to Brendan for the tip.

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Japanese Men Prefer Facials to Vaginal Ejaculation

Don’t believe everything you read in Mainichi Daily News, but according to this article, an increasing number of Japanese men are experiencing an inability to ejaculate inside the vagina and suffer from what they’re calling “vaginal ejaculation disorder.” This is attributed to a number of reasons, including porn, and “unnatural methods” of masturbation. “”Tsueno Akaeda, a doctor who runs a clinic in Tokyo’s Roppongi, agrees with urologist Nagao.

“There are definitely more people with vaginal ejaculation disorder than there used to be,” he says. “There has been incredible progress made in masturbation goods and there are plenty of people who can ejaculate into an artificial vagina, but not the real thing. I get more than a few men come to see me about that. And those in their 20s and 30s have grown up watching adult movies. They find masturbation easier and more satisfying than intercourse.”

Perhaps the government should put a ban on the Fleshlight?  In the meantime, enjoy the facials while you can.

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“Love Me, Love My Doll” aka “Guys and Dolls” BBC Documentary About the Men Who Love RealDolls and Live With Them

For some reason it comes up as “Guys and Dolls” on the internet but the original title of this BBC Documentary about RealDoll owners who fall in love with their very expensive masturbation devices is “Love Me, Love My Doll.” Ever wondered what RealDoll owners are really like? Now you can find out, because it looks like someone Tivo’d the flick and put it up online. The guys include some oddball Goth looking Black or Indian dude who lives with his RealDoll and with his parents (!), a very pathetic English guy who takes his doll with him when he goes hang-gliding (there’s actually nothing wrong with him but he seems to have both impossibly high standards for the type of women he wants to date as well as an incredibly defeatist attitude), a scary redneck from Virginia who’s really into guns, and a guy who tries to share his collection of 10 (TEN!) RealDolls with his girlfriend.

After reading about this on Sex and Blogs, I couldn’t stop watching it. It is literally like watching a car accident or train wreck. Not only is it a stellar documentary but the subject matter is at once so weird, so sad, so funny and so horrifying, I haven’t seen anything like this in a long time. Must be seen to be believed, really. The video is 45 mins long but I guarantee you will be glued to it.

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Sweeties: The RealDoll Rental Service

Let’s say you’ve always been fascinated by the RealDoll and want to try it but don’t want to shell out the thousands of bucks for one. You’re in luck (sort of). A San Francisco based company called Sweeties, provides just the service you’re looking for. For a modest fee you can rent one of the life sized sex dolls and give her a whirl.

Of course, the very first thing that pops into one’s mind is, ‘how clean is it’? Well if you check out the FAQ you’ll piss your pants. First off,

Q: How often do you clean the doll and how do you keep it in sanitary condition?
A:The dolls undergo a thorough clean up after every single play with our special disinfectant cleaning kit.

I’m not convinced but okay…

Q: What is NOT allowed to do with the doll?
A: We WILL NOT TOLERATE ANY IMPROPER OR VIOLENT behavior towards our attendants or the doll. When playing with the doll be gentle even if you feel like “playing hard”. Avoid clumsy positions with doll where there is a risk of doll’s damage.Also any of the following constitutes as damage to the doll: fingernail marks, bite marks, and cuts made with a knife or other bladed instrument; burn marks; liquid other than lotion; excessive bending of the doll’s joints; dirty or torn clothing; a dirty head; semen anywhere on the dolls body parts or entries, handcuff marks. You are fully financially responsible for any damages you wil cause by improper handling. Note: We require that you WEAR A CONDOM at all time when entering the doll’s entries. The previous list is not definite and we reserve the rights to asses fees if needed. The amount of “Loss and Damage Policy Fees” are determined on a case by case basis.

There goes that idea. And here’s what did it for me:

Q: Can I ejaculate on the doll’s surface or inside her entries?
A: We strongly encourage you to ejaculate inside the condom you are required to wear at all times when entering pleasure entries. However, if you have a strong desire to do so, you may, but please be aware we will assess a “Clean-Up Fee” if you don’t return the doll back as as it was when given to you.

OK so not only do you have to wear a condom you can’t cum inside her or on her face. And I really don’t trust their special cleaner too much. What a riot!

“Clean-Up Fee” is assesed if the doll is found in inapropriate sanitary condition for collection. “Clean-Up Fee” is $100.

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The Condom Fashion Show (Project Cumway?) and Other Good and Bad Ways to Promote Condom Use in Places Like South Africa

I think this fashion show in China was actually sort of clever and the designs are pretty cool. Will it make Chinese use condoms more to prevent overpopulation and AIDS? I’m not so sure.

Here’s an article with more pics. It reminds me a bit of how South Africa always tries to come up with idiotic new ways of getting people to use rubbers to tackle their AIDS problem, the worst one in the world. One was sending out a letter from the government explaining that you need to use condoms not to catch the bug and enclosing a sample rubber. Sounds decent enough, right? Maybe if they didn’t staple the condom to the letter. (I’m not joking, look it up).

Or this, voted “the Most Beautiful Object in South Africa. It’s a “condom applicator.” Jeez, like do you really need one? No offence to my SA friends but I associate this with the African sense of entitlement and macho superiority. “I can’t put this on, my china. I’m African, and until I’m delivered a special device to put this thing on my dick, it’s bareback or nothing.” “Jawelnofine, let’s do bareback.” Ironically the expression “china” is SA speak for ‘my friend’ or ‘my dear.’

In abit of a redux mention, I think the coolest AIDS prevention stuff came in the series of French PSA’s by then absolutely brilliant animation director Wilfrid Brimo which I’ve mentioned before and the messages is pure and simple: “vivez assez longtemps pour trouver le bon.” There’s a straight one, a gay one and one about a pervert like yours truly. The first two are bittersweet, the straight one, a bit more so:

But the gay one is actually a little more humorous.

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More Christian Porn? Catholic Anti-Abuse Coloring Book Reminds Me of Cherry Poptart

Speaking of Christian porn, still trying to pick itself up from the plethora of scandals, the Catholic Archdiocese of New York has apparently issued a fun anti-pedophilia coloring book. “Many of the book’s cartoon-sketch drawings, which were created by a church volunteer, are light in tone and narrated by an angel looming overhead. But on one page, the angel warns of an online predator—with chest hair exposed—who attempts to chat with a child; on another (shown above), the angel implies that children should make sure they’re never alone in a room with a priest.” (Via Newsweek article).

Now, is it my imagination or does the angel in this drawing look a little bit like Cherry Poptart?

Who knows. For angel-themed porn, I prefer John B. Root’s Explicite girls.

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“Kiss Me Quick!” Hilarious Early Sexploitation Flick

To be frank, I really am speechless after watching this vid of a trailer for an early sexploitation movie from the 1960s. Everything about it is perfect in it’s insanity and inanity; from the soundtrack to the monsters to the dancing girls to the nerds from outer space, the whole thing is like an unholy bastard child of Ed Wood and Russ Meyer if they got gay-married. For all your sexploitation goofballs, enjoy.

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Vagina Dentata in Film and Art, Not Just in “Teeth”

You may have heard about the upcoming film “Teeth” which is about a woman with a real life vagina dentata, which for those of you ignorant of Dr. Freud and co., is a toothed vagina and a horrible, horrible concept based on castration anxiety. The film actually looks pretty funny but does produce instant shrinkage just from watching the trailer. Now it looks like we have an entire website dedicated to the vagina dentata, and which also lists a number of other films where the scary pussy with teeth makes an appearance. Ouch! (Some of the art is pretty funny though, like these toothy pussies).

If you have the courage, check out the trailer. NOT for the faint of heart.

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Vagina Couch For Sale

If I had an extra $600 and the space for it, and the time to drive up to Mendocino, etc etc, I would definitely like to pick up this “womb with a view.”

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Clinton and Lewinsky by Peter Paul Rubens; and Some Nude Shots of Carla Bruni

I am really sick of Bill Clinton lately, doing all the obnoxious campaigning for Hillary so I was piqued when I found this image of Bill and Monica in a reproduction of Rubens’ Cimon and Pero on this site.

Here’s the original by Rubens, one of my favorite painters and definitely the Jeff Koons of 17th Century Flanders.

Now in contrast to the porcine Lewinsky, take a gander at Nicolas Sarkozy’s hot girlfriend Carla Bruni in some early modeling shots. Quite nice, although if I was Sarko I would be slightly worried that my ex dated both Mick Jagger and (egads!) Donald “I’m Not From This Planet” Trump.

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Men Who Look Like Old Lesbians

The title says it all. A very funny blog dedicated to men who make very unfortunate fashion choices in life. I mean at first glance I couldn’t tell if this was Ric Ocasek or Lily Tomlin.

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No Pants 2K8, the Bottomless Subway Ride; and Some Naked Australians From the Abby Winters Pool Girls

While I appreciate the idea of the Annual “No Pants” subway ride, I’m a bit at a loss as to why they hold in JANUARY, in places like New York, Portland, and Chicago for Crissake! Maybe so that the sub-zero temperatures will prevent the hardons that would lead to frottage? Who knows. Check out some of the pics and vids on Improv Everywhere, for scenes from New York:

Portland:

San Francisco:

Now, if you want, check out some NAKED girls from Portland, naked couples from Portland and some naked New York girls.

They also had the event in Adelaide, Australia where it’s summer now, of course which makes a lot more sense not only because it’s warm but because as far as I know, everyone in Australia is always naked anyway!

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Bizarre and Sensual Tatoo Photo Art by Kim Joon

Korean artist Kim Joon produces gorgeous sensual photos and videos centered around the idea of tattoos. From a review” Kim Joon started making series of tattooed images on the surfaces of sponges, which were stuffed and coated with shiny latex, in imitation of human flesh, in about ten years ago. Recently, Kim has turned to a single file to produce different kinds of art, from large-scale digital photos to video installation. Through these works Kim presents an underlying question concerning ‘social tattoo’ that exists as invisible figure. His social tattoo works are mainly about experiences and creations on a cultural level by transforming, adapting, and mixing different elements of culture.”

Work like this is at first glance seems to be referencing more traditional Asian tatooing…

But it’s when you see something like these insane Starbucks tatoo people that you get what he’s doing. Reminds me of Robert Crumb talking about how with printed t-shirts and other clothes and accessories people are essentially walking billboards. Kim drives the point home.

Kim’s website.

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RealDoll Makes an Anime Styled Version Called BoyToy

I did not see the film “Lars and the Real Girl”, but I have just a slight feeling that if you didn’t think the Real Doll was creepy enough this film made it even more so. Ergo, the wonderful sex doll inventors behind Real Doll have now come out with a limited edition version called Boy Toy, which is more like a stylized, googley-eyed anime version of a real live woman, which is what we all want in a female companion, isn’t it? Actually not, but in our plastic age it seems the plastic Boy Toy seems actually more realistic than the Real Doll. This one, Miss December, definitely reminds me of Paris Hilton.

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Leonard Nimoy’s Nude Photography of Fat Chicks Prove He Really is From Another Planet

I’m not a huge Star Trek fan but I always knew Leonard Nimoy was insane. Or at least he was definitely half-Vulcan in real life. If you didn’t think that his Yiddish Theater experience was at odds with his other planetary romps, or if you didn’t find his horrible music and records (supposedly he has made more recordings than the Beatles) to be enough, here’s another bit of insanity. Not only has Nimoy been a longtime nude photographer, he also loves fat chicks! Check out his “Full Body Project“, dedicated to the art of obesity!

Now don’t get me wrong. I like women with meat on their bones but this might be too much for me. And it only adds to the general insanity of Nimoy. Now, I’m not sure if he’s come out and said anything about that genre of fan fiction by Star Trek fans called Slash Fiction that tries to invent stories & create artwork based on a hypothetical gay romance between Spock and Kirk.

Tak sa mycket to Sex or Not, for alerting me to this madness.

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Alaska Air’s Gay Travel Promotion is Getting Some Heat - But How Do You Prove You’re Gay?

Well it looks like Alaska Air has gotten some slack lately for offering a 10% air travel discount to gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgendered travelers, in their own words “taking diversity to the sky.” People were a bit upset about it by saying that instead offering a discount to gays, lesbians, etc. it was in fact adding a 10% surcharge to heterosexual passengers. Personally, I don’t understand that logic. You can read up about the whole thing here, and also check out their gay travel page itself. But really what I understand even less is, how do you prove you’re gay in order to get the discount? That’s when the penis tatoo comes in handy, of course!

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Belle de Jour in Real Life

Remember the Bunuel film Belle de Jour with Catherine de Neuve where she played a devoted wife who moonlighted as a prostitute during the day (hence the title)? Great film, funny, bizarre, disturbing… I highly recommend it, but…

I can’t remember if the husband ever finds out. Now check this out…

WARSAW (Reuters) - A Polish man got the shock of his life when he visited a brothel and spotted his wife among the establishment’s employees. Polish tabloid Super Express said the woman had been making some extra money on the side while telling her husband she worked at a store in a nearby town.

“I was dumfounded. I thought I was dreaming,” the husband told the newspaper Wednesday.

The couple, married for 14 years, are now divorcing, the newspaper reported.

All I can say is “sucks to be him.” I’m adding Belle de Jour to the ye olde Netflix queue. Here’s the original trailer for your viewing pleasure.

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“Mr. Bucket”: Teabagging & Inadvertant Innudendos in Advertising. Some Copywriter Must Have Been Channeling Last Night’s Experience at the Stonewall

For those of you unfamiliar with “teabagging”, this involves the sexual practice of act of a man placing his testicles, specifically the scrotum, in the mouth or face of another person, often in a repeated in-and-out motion. Which of course resembles dipping a tea bag in and out of a cup of tea. Teabagging was made popular in the John Waters film “Pecker” but it was also inadvertantly advertised through the Milton Bradley product “Mr. Bucket”, a children’s game feauturing a character named Mr. Bucket who “eats balls” until they pop out of his mouth.

The jingle for Mr. Bucket has become infamous in some circles for its unintentionally innuendous lyrics, coupled to a relatively cheerful tune as well as the arguably poor choice of words used by the announcer (which may be mistaken for teabagging), which may have been a factor in the toy’s discontinuation. The jingle however, has became a cult favorite among fans of the advertisement due to its innuendous lyrics. This may have caused the re-release.[citation needed]

That’s right, I’m Mr. Bucket!
I’m Mr. Bucket, toss your balls in my top
I’m Mr. Bucket, out of my mouth they will pop
I’m Mr. Bucket!
We’re all gonna run!
I’m Mr. Bucket! Buckets of fun!

Announcer: The game’s Mr. Bucket! The first to get their balls into Mr. Bucket wins! But look out, ’cause the balls will pop out of his mouth!

I’m Mr. Bucket, balls pop into my mouth
I’m Mr. Bucket, a ball is what I’m about
I’m Mr. Bucket!
We’re all gonna run!
I’m Mr. Bucket! Buckets of fun!

Kid: I win, I win!

Buckets of fun!

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