“Scent of a Penis”: French Artist Prankster Stephane Berard’s Penis Perfume Joke is No Joke, or is It?

If they can make a parfum de vagina, then why not an eau de cock? I can’t find too much info about Stephane Berard’s “Arome Saveur Penis” that is to say, a liquid that is supposed to taste like penis. Unlike the silly vagina smell in a bottle, though, I think this one has way better potential and according to my preliminary research the artist tried to market it sell it to various condom manufacturers who didn’t bite (pun fully intended). But I really do think this is a great idea. Really the logic is simple. The only way you’d want to put some kind of flavour on a condom is if you were going to wear a hat for a blowjob, you know, safe sex and all, and with the”flavoured condoms” flavours usually being something insane like kiwi fruit or mango, let’s think long and hard (pun intended again) about how many penises smell like tropical fruits? Then again, since I’m assuming the majority of ‘blowjobs with condoms’ only occur between prostitutes and johns, perhaps disguising the scent of a penis with a tropical fruit smell is actually preferred.

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Erotic Falconry

Swooping down from the open skies and landing right into the “WTF?” category comes “Erotic Falconry”, some type of art project and/or internet joke that looks very, very dangerous if it was actually real. The whole don’t do this at home kind of deal. Good for a chuckle or two, in that WTF/Dada kind of way. Thanks to Brendan for the tip.

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Japanese Men Prefer Facials to Vaginal Ejaculation

Don’t believe everything you read in Mainichi Daily News, but according to this article, an increasing number of Japanese men are experiencing an inability to ejaculate inside the vagina and suffer from what they’re calling “vaginal ejaculation disorder.” This is attributed to a number of reasons, including porn, and “unnatural methods” of masturbation. “”Tsueno Akaeda, a doctor who runs a clinic in Tokyo’s Roppongi, agrees with urologist Nagao.

“There are definitely more people with vaginal ejaculation disorder than there used to be,” he says. “There has been incredible progress made in masturbation goods and there are plenty of people who can ejaculate into an artificial vagina, but not the real thing. I get more than a few men come to see me about that. And those in their 20s and 30s have grown up watching adult movies. They find masturbation easier and more satisfying than intercourse.”

Perhaps the government should put a ban on the Fleshlight?  In the meantime, enjoy the facials while you can.

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Jane Fonda Says “Cunt”, Eve Ensler Can’t Get Vagina Out of Her Mouth

Looks like Jane Fonda made history today on the Today Show by being the first person to say cunt on network television in the US, but I found “Vagina Monologues” Eve Ensler’s statement that she couldn’t get vagina out of her mouth funnier. Happy Valentine’s Day!

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Star Trek Orgasms

Stupid but funny. A clever montage simulating sex between various Star Trek characters, including straight, gay and even pegging. The Klingon cumshot at the end is my favorite. (Via Unscathed Corpse).

Now take a look at the naked Star Trek nerd Anna getting naughty with girls and boys and solo.

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The Very Rare Anti-Masturbation Device on Ebay Sells for $2,906 USD

You may have seen mention of this monstrosity, basically a chastity belt for men, aka in this copy a device to keep you from masturbating which was selling on ebay on other blogs. I’m proud to announce that we have a winner and it sold for almost $3K. I don’t know, it is fascinating but also horrifying. What if you have an erection inside that metal thing, it gets larger, and somehow the blood supply to the penis gets cut off. Do you know what happens then?

Well apart from just the actual physical pain, I would imagine there is a potential of great peril to the family jewels. This reminds me in a roundabout way of a story a friend of mine while in medical school read in JAMA (Journal of the American Medical Association). It was about a guy who had the bright idea to inject cocaine into his dick so he could jerk off like crazy, which he did. Except 24 hours later he suffered “autoamputation of his necrotic penis.” The damn thing just fell off! Sheesh! I better get off these topics. Must have been that Justin Timberlake video that got me thinking about this. Maybe it was Justin who bought this thing.

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Justin Timberlake Gets His Balls Crushed in the Pepsi Superbowl Commercial

Not really sex related, except for the destruction of his balls, but if you’ve ever fantasized about Justin Timberlake or some other pissant so-called celebrity receive grivous bodily harm, this commercial is quite cathartic.

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Some Additions to the 2 Girls 1 Cup Toilet Humour

I’m assuming that most of my readers are familiar with the coprophagic video “2 Girls 1 Cup” that became, yes, an internet sensation. Of all the things to start an internet sensation, eh? Have we sunk that low? You bet. In an era when “ass to mouth” porn is about as ubiquitous as a shaved pussy, it’s only natural that viral videos that are intensely disgusting gather more attention than either good porn, or even matters of interest. I think 2 Girls 1 Cup even superceded the infamous Goatse. Having said that, while I couldn’t stomach watching the original 2 Girls 1 Cup video, and it seems to be removed from the net, the reactions to it are fairly funny.

Exhibit 1:

A North Carolina State University student recently purchased a customized NC license plate to commemorate one of the most recent and most disgusting viral videos on the Internet. The plate, which was originally opened and questioned by his mother, will soon be driving around the streets of Raleigh.

Exhibit 2:

For anyone who has even taken one film studies, women’s studies, or an art class in criticism, this is rather funny - a college paper analizing 2 Girls 1 Cup as if it were the latest masterpiece from your favourite bullshit artist du jour. I’m disappointed they didn’t throw in a reference to Michel Foucault. On the other hand it also could be a real paper written by “existentialist porn star” Sasha Grey for Film Studies 101. (Clicking pic will open up a larger, readable image).

Via Odd Culture.

By the way, since I mentioned “ass to mouth” did you know that just several years ago, this was a rarity? Check out this article, and this is from AVN (Adult Video News) of all places where the writer expresses his repulsion over “ATM” and this was written just four years ago! Now it’s all the rage. To paraphrase Dostoyevsky, people will get used to anything, the fuckers.

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My Tale is Hot, Starring Candy Barre, More Sexploitation Insanity From the Director of Kiss Me Quick

I can’t resist. Since finding the masterpiece “Kiss Me Quick”, I had to look up more fun stuff by genius sexploitation director Peter Perry and came across this bit of unabashed lunacy called “My Tale is Hot.” Have you ever had a Candy Barre? I love how they tie in Walt Disney. The acid must have been really good that year.

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Christian Porn, Glory Hole Style: Mike Huckabee’s Light Switch?

I’m obsessing a bit about the elections, as opposed to the erections, the past couple of days and can’t help wonder if it isn’t Christian freak and potential Republican candidate Mike Huckabee who has this glory hole themed Jesus light switch in his house. How frightening!

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“Kiss Me Quick!” Hilarious Early Sexploitation Flick

To be frank, I really am speechless after watching this vid of a trailer for an early sexploitation movie from the 1960s. Everything about it is perfect in it’s insanity and inanity; from the soundtrack to the monsters to the dancing girls to the nerds from outer space, the whole thing is like an unholy bastard child of Ed Wood and Russ Meyer if they got gay-married. For all your sexploitation goofballs, enjoy.

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Vagina Couch For Sale

If I had an extra $600 and the space for it, and the time to drive up to Mendocino, etc etc, I would definitely like to pick up this “womb with a view.”

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Clinton and Lewinsky by Peter Paul Rubens; and Some Nude Shots of Carla Bruni

I am really sick of Bill Clinton lately, doing all the obnoxious campaigning for Hillary so I was piqued when I found this image of Bill and Monica in a reproduction of Rubens’ Cimon and Pero on this site.

Here’s the original by Rubens, one of my favorite painters and definitely the Jeff Koons of 17th Century Flanders.

Now in contrast to the porcine Lewinsky, take a gander at Nicolas Sarkozy’s hot girlfriend Carla Bruni in some early modeling shots. Quite nice, although if I was Sarko I would be slightly worried that my ex dated both Mick Jagger and (egads!) Donald “I’m Not From This Planet” Trump.

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Men Who Look Like Old Lesbians

The title says it all. A very funny blog dedicated to men who make very unfortunate fashion choices in life. I mean at first glance I couldn’t tell if this was Ric Ocasek or Lily Tomlin.

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How Do You Clean Up After a Gangbang? Use the Cillit Gang Bang Cleaner Of Course!

I have actually wondered about the poor bloke whose job it is to clean the mess of a porn set, especially of the orgy or gang bang variety. Luckily, the makers of Cillit Bang, which is a real brand of cleaner proudly introduces Cillit GangBang to make all the semen shots magically disappear. If only this were real. Cillit actually looks very much like “Clit” at first glance, which could be fodder for another video, lesbian based this time.

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Leonard Nimoy’s Nude Photography of Fat Chicks Prove He Really is From Another Planet

I’m not a huge Star Trek fan but I always knew Leonard Nimoy was insane. Or at least he was definitely half-Vulcan in real life. If you didn’t think that his Yiddish Theater experience was at odds with his other planetary romps, or if you didn’t find his horrible music and records (supposedly he has made more recordings than the Beatles) to be enough, here’s another bit of insanity. Not only has Nimoy been a longtime nude photographer, he also loves fat chicks! Check out his “Full Body Project“, dedicated to the art of obesity!

Now don’t get me wrong. I like women with meat on their bones but this might be too much for me. And it only adds to the general insanity of Nimoy. Now, I’m not sure if he’s come out and said anything about that genre of fan fiction by Star Trek fans called Slash Fiction that tries to invent stories & create artwork based on a hypothetical gay romance between Spock and Kirk.

Tak sa mycket to Sex or Not, for alerting me to this madness.

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“Mr. Bucket”: Teabagging & Inadvertant Innudendos in Advertising. Some Copywriter Must Have Been Channeling Last Night’s Experience at the Stonewall

For those of you unfamiliar with “teabagging”, this involves the sexual practice of act of a man placing his testicles, specifically the scrotum, in the mouth or face of another person, often in a repeated in-and-out motion. Which of course resembles dipping a tea bag in and out of a cup of tea. Teabagging was made popular in the John Waters film “Pecker” but it was also inadvertantly advertised through the Milton Bradley product “Mr. Bucket”, a children’s game feauturing a character named Mr. Bucket who “eats balls” until they pop out of his mouth.

The jingle for Mr. Bucket has become infamous in some circles for its unintentionally innuendous lyrics, coupled to a relatively cheerful tune as well as the arguably poor choice of words used by the announcer (which may be mistaken for teabagging), which may have been a factor in the toy’s discontinuation. The jingle however, has became a cult favorite among fans of the advertisement due to its innuendous lyrics. This may have caused the re-release.[citation needed]

That’s right, I’m Mr. Bucket!
I’m Mr. Bucket, toss your balls in my top
I’m Mr. Bucket, out of my mouth they will pop
I’m Mr. Bucket!
We’re all gonna run!
I’m Mr. Bucket! Buckets of fun!

Announcer: The game’s Mr. Bucket! The first to get their balls into Mr. Bucket wins! But look out, ’cause the balls will pop out of his mouth!

I’m Mr. Bucket, balls pop into my mouth
I’m Mr. Bucket, a ball is what I’m about
I’m Mr. Bucket!
We’re all gonna run!
I’m Mr. Bucket! Buckets of fun!

Kid: I win, I win!

Buckets of fun!

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Football Field Penis Prank in Hazleton, PA is America’s Beavis and Butthead Answer to English Crop Circles

Have you heard of the Penis Prank in Pennsylvania? To paraphrase The Register, the pranksters in Hazleton, PA have certainly figured out how NOT to welcome alien visitors to our planet with this giant crop circle cock.

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Butt Implants Gone Horribly Awry

I thought J-Lo’s butt was fake at first. Not to be confused with the absolute insanity of this chick who got a butt implant. Mind blowing and disgusting!

http://view.break.com/409510 - Watch more free videos

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How to Get 20 Cute Naked Japanese Girls in a Telephone Booth

More Weird Japan. What is up with those people, anyway? Here’s something from a Japanese TV show with cute naked girls getting stuffed into a phone booth. I’m not sure what the current Japanese porn laws are, but even though bush has to be pixilated, there seems to be plenty of nudity on TV. You can also read up all about the bad fad known as telephone booth stuffing but it’s better when done naked with cute girls.

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