Topless BBW A Capella Group

Extraordinarily disturbing video of three BBW or should I say BIGASS-B-W singing a capella! Watch at own risk.

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Happy Belated Erotic Thanskgiving

The posting was a little erratic as opposed to erotic due to all the holiday hoopla. At first the only Thanksgiving themed porn I could find was this insane erotic turkey via The Principles of Pleasure.

But then I did find this Thanksgiving orgy series later on. Due to all the gonzo porn, I don’t see many interesting or odd costumes used too much anymore. Pity, those pilgrim bonnets and what not could potentially be quite interesting. I don’t have the time to consult the fetish roadmap right now as there’s more fun stuff to talk and write about but I would imagine it falls somewhere in the vicinity of the Nun Fetish?

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My Penis is a Mountain: Opera Singer’s Mistake in Singing Croatian National Anthem Helps the Team “Rise to the Occassion”

What’s funnier, the fact that English opera singer Tony Henry mistakenly said “My Penis is a Mountain” while singing the Croatian National Anthem? Or the fact that Croatia ended up defeating England and that BBC had to write “rose to the occasion”? Or Henry defending himself?

Croatia rose to the occasion in their crucial Euro 2008 defeat of England - after an apparent X-rated gaffe by an English opera singer at Wembley. Tony Henry belted out a version of the Croat anthem before the 80,000 crowd, but made a blunder at the end. He should have sung ‘Mila kuda si planina’ (which roughly means ‘You know my dear how we love your mountains’).

But he instead sang ‘Mila kura si planina’ which can be interpreted as ‘My dear, my penis is a mountain.’

Henry is becoming a cult hero in Croatia, but denies he played a part in England’s exit. “I can’t take the blame for that. The last thing I would do is brag about my parts like that - especially to make it so public,” said Henry.

Via the always entertaining BBC News.

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First Sex With Cars and Now Bicycle Sex, Talk About “WTF?”! Where’s That Stuff on the Fetish Map?

Sometimes the stuff I read on Metro sounds like it came from the Weekly World News, but guess what? It’s all true. Or is it? Back in February they reported on a man who has sex with cars. That’s right. “In stunning news that will have wide ranging implications for many years to come, a man has been found who likes having sex with cars. The details of mechanic Chris Donald’s alleged romantic vehicular liaisons have been unearthed by (naturally) The Sun - who claim that in addition to a large number of cars, Mr Donald has also done the dirty with two boats and a jetski. (Read more) You can also check out Mr. Donald’s blog and instructional manual called “How to Make Love to a Car or Other Vehicle” which features some helpful hints like: “If you anthropomorphasize your 4 wheeled lover, it’s worth remembering that its a fantasy. A fun, sexy fantasy, but a emotional/sexual/mental construct. Despite my own enjoyment, a car isn’t actually a person. Except during sex LOL.” (Full article)
The Jaguar X class is supposedly his lover of choice.

OK so either it’s a joke or he’s a nutjob or both. Or maybe you can’t trust Metro and the Sun, but you can certainly trust the BBC, right? Drumroll please…

Bike sex man placed on probation (Via BBC News)

A man caught trying to have sex with his bicycle has been sentenced to three years on probation. Robert Stewart, 51, admitted a sexually aggravated breach of the peace by conducting himself in a disorderly manner and simulating sex.

Sheriff Colin Miller also placed Stewart on the Sex Offenders Register for three years. Mr Stewart was caught in the act with his bicycle by cleaners in his bedroom at the Aberley House Hostel in Ayr. Gail Davidson, prosecuting, told Ayr Sheriff Court: “They knocked on the door several times and there was no reply. “They used a master key to unlock the door and they then observed the accused wearing only a white t-shirt, naked from the waist down. “The accused was holding the bike and moving his hips back and forth as if to simulate sex.” Both cleaners, who were “extremely shocked”, told the hostel manager who called police. Sheriff Colin Miller told Stewart: “In almost four decades in the law I thought I had come across every perversion known to mankind, but this is a new one on me. I have never heard of a ‘cycle-sexualist’.” Stewart had denied the offence, claiming it was caused by a misunderstanding after he had too much to drink.

I’m a bit speechless. First of all, why didn’t the car guy get arrested? Well, I’m just waitin for the next installment: MOTORCYCLE sex!

BTW, if anyone can please tell me where this insane photo is from I would apreciate it.

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Cock Flavored Seasoning From Arty Anal Girl Ruth

Need to flavour your food with the taste of cock? Try this seasoning, which was brought to my attention by Ruth. Another insane food name from England, I thought, along with spotted dick and faggots. However, I looked around on the company that makes this spice and it was nowhere to be found - they either stopped making it for obvious reasons, changed it to say “chicken” and/or they only sell it to an English market. Would make a great gag gift that would let you enjoy the taste of cock anytime.

Ruth, of course, not only has her own site but also is famous for working with Simon and not only is she gorgeous but also loves to show off some incredible anal insertions, masturbation and lesbian girl on girl and group sex.

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The Occupational Hazards of Shooting Porn or Naked People

Think you got what it takes to shoot porn? Think again. Or at least don’t wear Speedos. It’s just a stupid photoshop job but I got a chuckle out of it, particularly from the fat guy in the back.

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The Adventures of the Man With No Penis

Short, sweet and to the point. What else would one do if one had no penis. From the hilarious and bizarre comic strip Perry Bible Fellowship.

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Sixteen Naked Japanese Girls Blowing Horns, Sucking on Organs and Cracking Nuts in the Japanese Naked Orchestra

I counted sixteen naked Japanese girls in this naked orchestra from Japan. They butcher Tchaikovski’s Nutcracker and like Liberace, they may be great on the piano but they suck on the organ but what the hell, they’re cute. You can always turn the sound down or off and just watch them blow. On a related note, my favourite naked musician is here.

Naked Orchestra - The most amazing bloopers are here

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Porno Marketing!

Porno marketing? Yes, but not marketing your own porn site. We’re talking about using porn to market well known brands using product placement. Of course quasi porn is used to market all kinds of things on a daily basis, but this hilarious site called, Porno Marketing, what else, calls itself the first product placement website for the sex amateur community and invites exhibitionists to send in photos of themselves, naked, or flashing, in front of well known brands such as Starbucks for example:

Which I liked. But there are a few more grotesque ones such as Pepsi:

After that, they post the photos on exhibitionist sites throughout the web in exchange for their agency fees from the company they are promoting. Sounds clever, right? This is of course a joke but with copy like “A brand product can propel your own erotic activity up to an unthinkable level of pleasure.” it’s pretty damn funny. Although it does link to their parent site which is a guerilla/viral marketing agency in Italy that seems to be legit… Naah, this can’t be real *chuckle*… Porno Marketing.

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How To Look Incognito When Exiting a Porn or Sex Shop

I can’t tell if this was just a print ad or whether they actually manufactured these things as collateral advertising products but I tend to think it’s the later and pretty clever. The German porn and sex shop chain Beate Uhse is giving its customers glasses that look those black bars you see in print to disguise someone’s identity. Of course the fact that they will in fact draw more attention to you was overlooked but hey it’s just a nifty marketing campaign.

Beate Uhse-Rotermund by the way, (pictured below) was not only the first and only female stunt pilot in the Luftwaffe, but the sex shop that carries her name was the world’s first sex shop when it opened in Flensburg in 1962. Her wikipedia bio is fascinating.

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Borghild: Did Nazi Germans Invent the Sex Doll?

Borghild.de claims that “The world’s first sexdoll – or ”gynoid” – was built in 1941 by a team of craftsmen from Germany’s Hygiene Museum Dresden.” Much like a RealDoll, but intended to prevent Wehrmacht soldiers from catching a case of the clap from foreign hookers, or preventing them from mingling with “foreign womenfolk.” It was also built with the ye olde “Aryan” aesthetics in mind. Take a look:

Doesn’t do anything for me, personally. Furthermore, naturally the Museum was located in Dresden, which as you recall was bombed to smithereens by the Allies so no German Real Doll exists and only two photographs survived. Sounds fishy? You bet. That’s because it’s a hoax, although a fairly amusing and elaborate one. Although why someone would spend so much time on such a hoax kind of confuses me.

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GI Jonny New BBC HIV Prevention Campaign is Out of Control

GI Jonny, Captain Bareback, Crotch Cannon, Fisting Action… Once again, I thought, this can’t possibly be real. But it is. Not only that, I believe this GI Jonny HIV awareness campaign featuring GI Joe type action figures in some not so much suggestive as explicit sexually action, I think is by Viral Factor, the same people who brought you Stefane Monzone and the Trojan Games and was a viral video produced in conjunction with BBC to raise AIDS and HIV awareness among teens in the UK.

I thought it was insane and funny but apparently a lot of Britons did not. ” The National Confederation of Parent Teachers Association’s Margaret Morrisey said: “I’m no Mary Whitehouse but this is disgusting”. [Full article from Metro] I say, lighten up Madge, there’s nothing in there the kids haven’t heard about and/or done by now.

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Erotic Corn Dog Eating Contest in Iowa Banned; Plus a Silly Corn Dog Video

Looks like the Erotic Corn Dog Eating Contest in Iowa may be banned. “The competition, which is organized by a Des Moines-area radio station and tends to draw a raucous and appreciative crowd, is too tasteless, according to at least one State Fair board member. After the topic came up Monday during the board’s critique of this year’s fair, Gary Slater, the fair’s manager, said he hasn’t seen it himself. “I just heard it was kind of disgusting,” Slater said. He quickly added: “It was nothing that was sanctioned by the fair.” [Read the full article].

I agree that it’s disgusting but only because it’s a corn dog. While I tried to find some video footage of this zany contest the closest I could find is below. Not sure if they’re referencing the shenanigans in Iowa but I have a feeling they must be. By the way, in my search for an appropriate image, which turned out fruitless, I was shocked several times so do NOT, whatever you do, go to google images to type in “hot dog blowjob.”

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Natalie From Morey Studios: Amazing Breasts, Amazing Erotic Photography That Turns Me Into The Tit Man of Ohio

This girl is stunning. Her boobs are mind blowing and the natural bush looks awesome! From Morey Studios. In fact…

The more I look at these photos the more I am in danger of becoming like “JIM”, the deranged big tit man of Ohio!

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George Clooney’s Sex Prop/Toy Of Choice is the Liberator Ramp

I personally can’t stand ‘celebrities’ and I don’t like George Clooney but seeing him busted carrying the ridiculous sex prop called “The Liberator” is fairly amusing. Via Sex Fluctuat, the story reads something like: The Bauer Griffin agency specializing in Hollywood paparazzi photos took this innocent looking snapshot of George Clooney lugging out some personal effects:

More mischievous observers have pointed out that this funny looking pillow is none other than “The Liberator Ramp” which allows one to ‘play’ without getting tired, for example in this position…

The author then begins to wonder if George is suffering from lumbago, whether he’s abandoned Nespresso for a sexier sponsor, etc. OK, enough, I’m not wasting any more time translating from French about Clooney’s stupid sex life. But the top pic is pretty funny and the ramp looks pretty lame. Busted!

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Does Penis Size Matter to Women? Watch The Video and Find Out!

Penis size may or may not matter in bed, depending on the woman, but it certainly matters when… Oh just watch. This is hilarious. Wait until you get to dessert!

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Biker’s Penis Hit by Lightning! What Did He Do To Deserve It? Did Two Penises Touch and Turn Him Bi?

I must be psychic. Just a day or so after writing about the threat of Zeus firing a thunderbolt if two penises touch during an MMF threesome scenario which turns bisexual…

… Metro reports that a motorcycle driver in Croatia, stopping by to take a leak actually got his cock struck by a lightning bolt. I wonder if he was coming home from something like this?

Biker’s penis hit by lightning
Monday, September 24, 2007

A Croatian motorbiker will be praying that the old adage ‘lightning never strikes twice’ rings true.

Unlucky Ante Djindjic, 29, from Zagreb was knocked unconscious when lightning struck his penis during a quick roadside toilet break.

Djindjic said: “I don’t remember what happened. One minute I was taking a leak and the next thing I knew I was in hospital. Doctors said the lightning went through my body and because I was wearing rubber boots it earthed itself through my penis.” Djindjic escaped relatively unscathed from the incident, suffering only light burns to his chest and arms. He said: “Thankfully, the doctors said that there would be no lasting effects, and my penis will function normally eventually.”

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Bert and Ernie Gay Sex Evidence - Including Fisting With a Vat of Crisco

Well before “Evil” Bert started his worldwide terror campaign, appearing on posters next to Osama bin Laden as seen in the actual Reuters photo below (look at the right side of the poster just above bin Laden’s left shoulder), everyone suspected that Bert and Ernie were gay, and not just because they were two single guys living together but the dynamics of their relationship when seen now objectively and as a grownup, were more like two gay men living together.

Now we have further proof of their homosexuality, which also includes some heavy duty fisting. I believe there was even an urban legend floating around that the producers of the show were going to “out” the two muppets and have Ernie die from AIDS complications and thus turn it into a PSA of sorts, which of course is absurd since the show’s audience is a bit young to worry about STDs. Nonetheless, thanks to Sex and Blogs for posting about this hilarious fisting series, with reach-around of course. Bert isn’t THAT mean not to give Ernie one. Click on the pic for the full set.

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The Pornoanalyste or Porno Analyst (or is it Analist?) of France is One Heck of a Poet

Perhaps not as good as Davo’s book of Prostitute Poetry, but the “Pornoanalyste” writes extremely eloquent musings on his daily porn surfing, analyzing what goes on in his head and the models, all very poetic. I kind of do the same sometimes when I write a post, but this guy is a true genius with words. Of course, he writes in French so those of you lacking Francophone skills, the poignancy of reading “Je serai vulgaire, une autre fois, veuillez m’en excuser : je peux regarder cette photo, le sexe à la main, le branler fort, dur, sentir le sperme venir et m’imaginer gicler sur son visage, sur ses seins.” below this photo may be lost on you. But read on.

Back in the Anglophone world, and before porn blogging became popular, there was a usenet group called rec.arts.movies.erotica, whose shining star was a fellow named Ridley. I decided to look up and see if those old posts were still there and indeed, they were. Especially my favourite one and the one that I remember best, his rather sad lament at the decline of the porno shops in Times Square, his distaste for DVDs (as opposed to VHS - a true purist), as well as some nice reviews. Read it and weep.

“I stopped by the European vid store, a store that specializes in fist fucks, piss in the face, shit in the mouth vids, some of the fisting vids are really
good, look for my review of Faust Fuck # 23 coming soon. I left the porn stores, and headed over to Times square mingling with the yuppies and thier Yuppie off spring, watching the cars drive over the axle busting potholes that passes for the road around times square and as i looked back at the Neon beckoning tourists and westchester Yuppies to BUY BUY BUY i sighed and thought back to the glory that once was and shed a tear to the past. ”

More of Ridley’s story is here…

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Gimme Back My Porn!

Allright. Well a man’s home may not be his castle if you’re busted by the cops for being a Peeping Tom. But no one should touch a man’s porn, I’m with them on this one! (via Smoking Gun)

SEPTEMBER 5–You may have heard about Dennis Saunders, the California peeping Tom who is suing police in a bid to force them to return his large pornography stash, which was seized during a raid on his home in late-2001. Saunders, 59, was jailed in 2002 for secretly videotaping a woman and a 17-year-old girl in their respective bedrooms and bathrooms at an apartment complex. Saunders, who was released from prison last month, wants the San Rafael Police Department to return hundreds of videos and magazines, which are meticulously described in a 40-page evidence log prepared by investigators (Saunders claims the X-rated material has a “reasonable fair value of $25,000). On the following pages, you’ll find excerpts from the police inventory, which provides a sampling of the material for which Saunders is fighting. Fresh out of the can, he wants a judge to reunite him with films like “Raw Sex Mardi Gras Vol #2,” “Cum To Drink Of It,” and most of the “Seattle Hairy Girls” oeuvre.

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