The Condom Bag Makes a Handy Tote For Going to the Orgy or Gangbang

I think this “Safe Sax” condom bag, while intended for yet another AIDS awareness shtick of some sorts is a bit of a misguided statement. I mean, do you really need to advertise that you’re going to need that many this evening?

Of course if you’re going to one of the orgies at Party Hardcore, you might. I’m still trying to figure out what the ratio of amateurs to pros is at these parties. Believe me, some are definitely amateurs. A bit frightening and titillating at the same time, eh?

Share This

The Condom Fashion Show (Project Cumway?) and Other Good and Bad Ways to Promote Condom Use in Places Like South Africa

I think this fashion show in China was actually sort of clever and the designs are pretty cool. Will it make Chinese use condoms more to prevent overpopulation and AIDS? I’m not so sure.

Here’s an article with more pics. It reminds me a bit of how South Africa always tries to come up with idiotic new ways of getting people to use rubbers to tackle their AIDS problem, the worst one in the world. One was sending out a letter from the government explaining that you need to use condoms not to catch the bug and enclosing a sample rubber. Sounds decent enough, right? Maybe if they didn’t staple the condom to the letter. (I’m not joking, look it up).

Or this, voted “the Most Beautiful Object in South Africa. It’s a “condom applicator.” Jeez, like do you really need one? No offence to my SA friends but I associate this with the African sense of entitlement and macho superiority. “I can’t put this on, my china. I’m African, and until I’m delivered a special device to put this thing on my dick, it’s bareback or nothing.” “Jawelnofine, let’s do bareback.” Ironically the expression “china” is SA speak for ‘my friend’ or ‘my dear.’

In abit of a redux mention, I think the coolest AIDS prevention stuff came in the series of French PSA’s by then absolutely brilliant animation director Wilfrid Brimo which I’ve mentioned before and the messages is pure and simple: “vivez assez longtemps pour trouver le bon.” There’s a straight one, a gay one and one about a pervert like yours truly. The first two are bittersweet, the straight one, a bit more so:

But the gay one is actually a little more humorous.

Share This

Justin Timberlake Gets His Balls Crushed in the Pepsi Superbowl Commercial

Not really sex related, except for the destruction of his balls, but if you’ve ever fantasized about Justin Timberlake or some other pissant so-called celebrity receive grivous bodily harm, this commercial is quite cathartic.

Share This

How Do You Clean Up After a Gangbang? Use the Cillit Gang Bang Cleaner Of Course!

I have actually wondered about the poor bloke whose job it is to clean the mess of a porn set, especially of the orgy or gang bang variety. Luckily, the makers of Cillit Bang, which is a real brand of cleaner proudly introduces Cillit GangBang to make all the semen shots magically disappear. If only this were real. Cillit actually looks very much like “Clit” at first glance, which could be fodder for another video, lesbian based this time.

Share This

Bizarre and Sensual Tatoo Photo Art by Kim Joon

Korean artist Kim Joon produces gorgeous sensual photos and videos centered around the idea of tattoos. From a review” Kim Joon started making series of tattooed images on the surfaces of sponges, which were stuffed and coated with shiny latex, in imitation of human flesh, in about ten years ago. Recently, Kim has turned to a single file to produce different kinds of art, from large-scale digital photos to video installation. Through these works Kim presents an underlying question concerning ‘social tattoo’ that exists as invisible figure. His social tattoo works are mainly about experiences and creations on a cultural level by transforming, adapting, and mixing different elements of culture.”

Work like this is at first glance seems to be referencing more traditional Asian tatooing…

But it’s when you see something like these insane Starbucks tatoo people that you get what he’s doing. Reminds me of Robert Crumb talking about how with printed t-shirts and other clothes and accessories people are essentially walking billboards. Kim drives the point home.

Kim’s website.

Share This

“Mr. Bucket”: Teabagging & Inadvertant Innudendos in Advertising. Some Copywriter Must Have Been Channeling Last Night’s Experience at the Stonewall

For those of you unfamiliar with “teabagging”, this involves the sexual practice of act of a man placing his testicles, specifically the scrotum, in the mouth or face of another person, often in a repeated in-and-out motion. Which of course resembles dipping a tea bag in and out of a cup of tea. Teabagging was made popular in the John Waters film “Pecker” but it was also inadvertantly advertised through the Milton Bradley product “Mr. Bucket”, a children’s game feauturing a character named Mr. Bucket who “eats balls” until they pop out of his mouth.

The jingle for Mr. Bucket has become infamous in some circles for its unintentionally innuendous lyrics, coupled to a relatively cheerful tune as well as the arguably poor choice of words used by the announcer (which may be mistaken for teabagging), which may have been a factor in the toy’s discontinuation. The jingle however, has became a cult favorite among fans of the advertisement due to its innuendous lyrics. This may have caused the re-release.[citation needed]

That’s right, I’m Mr. Bucket!
I’m Mr. Bucket, toss your balls in my top
I’m Mr. Bucket, out of my mouth they will pop
I’m Mr. Bucket!
We’re all gonna run!
I’m Mr. Bucket! Buckets of fun!

Announcer: The game’s Mr. Bucket! The first to get their balls into Mr. Bucket wins! But look out, ’cause the balls will pop out of his mouth!

I’m Mr. Bucket, balls pop into my mouth
I’m Mr. Bucket, a ball is what I’m about
I’m Mr. Bucket!
We’re all gonna run!
I’m Mr. Bucket! Buckets of fun!

Kid: I win, I win!

Buckets of fun!

Share This

More Bestiality in Advertising? Or are Germans all Insane Perverts? What Gives?

I don’t understand this. We know Germans are perverts, no offence to my German readers, but let’s face it, Deutschland leads the world (or at least is tied with France and Japan) in matter relating to scat, urolagnia (that’s watersports in the Latin terms), and a bunch of other stuff to long to ponder. We can probably rescan the Fetish Roadmap and it will be a map of the BRD. Well, now, following in the footsteps of the Terry Richardson campaign with Josie Maran, we have a new spread for “Deutsch” magazine. Why? Who knows. Sorry, I’m a bit lazy to translate the copy for you but basically all it does is ask the same questions as I do. That is: “Why?”

Share This

Scary AIDS PSA Ads From France

Sometimes you gotta be scared straight and these French PSA AIDS ads about safe sex and condom use are pretty creepy. The copy at the bottom translates as “Without protection it’s AIDS that you’re making love to.” Artistic, scary, and effective.

Share This

Porno Marketing!

Porno marketing? Yes, but not marketing your own porn site. We’re talking about using porn to market well known brands using product placement. Of course quasi porn is used to market all kinds of things on a daily basis, but this hilarious site called, Porno Marketing, what else, calls itself the first product placement website for the sex amateur community and invites exhibitionists to send in photos of themselves, naked, or flashing, in front of well known brands such as Starbucks for example:

Which I liked. But there are a few more grotesque ones such as Pepsi:

After that, they post the photos on exhibitionist sites throughout the web in exchange for their agency fees from the company they are promoting. Sounds clever, right? This is of course a joke but with copy like “A brand product can propel your own erotic activity up to an unthinkable level of pleasure.” it’s pretty damn funny. Although it does link to their parent site which is a guerilla/viral marketing agency in Italy that seems to be legit… Naah, this can’t be real *chuckle*… Porno Marketing.

Share This

How To Look Incognito When Exiting a Porn or Sex Shop

I can’t tell if this was just a print ad or whether they actually manufactured these things as collateral advertising products but I tend to think it’s the later and pretty clever. The German porn and sex shop chain Beate Uhse is giving its customers glasses that look those black bars you see in print to disguise someone’s identity. Of course the fact that they will in fact draw more attention to you was overlooked but hey it’s just a nifty marketing campaign.

Beate Uhse-Rotermund by the way, (pictured below) was not only the first and only female stunt pilot in the Luftwaffe, but the sex shop that carries her name was the world’s first sex shop when it opened in Flensburg in 1962. Her wikipedia bio is fascinating.

Share This

Adidas Commercials for Adicolor Are Amazing, Jenna Jameson Beating the Crap Out of Some Video Game as Well as a Creepy Laura Palmer Lynch One Are Also Cool

The brilliant Unscathed Corpse posted about these “Adicolor” commercials for Adidas which gave each artist/director a colour to work with and basically free reign to do as they please afterwards.. The first one features Jenna Jameson, in the “White” clip, is pretty good. But I think I like the PINK one better because it is just so darn creepy and weird, in a David Lynch kind of feeling, a bit like Laura Palmer opening up some dark secret oozing secret coming from the conch shell. The Lynchian music is also perfect with this teen sex dread, and the oozy stuff and textures reminds me of Matthew Barney. Anyway, these were the two sex/sexy ones, but for pure weirdness and brilliance, do check out “Black.” The whole collection can be found here.

Share This

GI Jonny New BBC HIV Prevention Campaign is Out of Control

GI Jonny, Captain Bareback, Crotch Cannon, Fisting Action… Once again, I thought, this can’t possibly be real. But it is. Not only that, I believe this GI Jonny HIV awareness campaign featuring GI Joe type action figures in some not so much suggestive as explicit sexually action, I think is by Viral Factor, the same people who brought you Stefane Monzone and the Trojan Games and was a viral video produced in conjunction with BBC to raise AIDS and HIV awareness among teens in the UK.

I thought it was insane and funny but apparently a lot of Britons did not. ” The National Confederation of Parent Teachers Association’s Margaret Morrisey said: “I’m no Mary Whitehouse but this is disgusting”. [Full article from Metro] I say, lighten up Madge, there’s nothing in there the kids haven’t heard about and/or done by now.

Share This

Add a Fifth to Your Foursome?

Does anyone recall that Maker’s Mark actually had a campaign out a few years ago with the title “Add a Fifth to Your Foursome”? Now for those of us who don’t golf on a regular basis, and whose minds tend to veer to the naughty bits, I thought this was laugh out loud funny.

Of course, in a foursome, as in two couples, as in two guys and two girls, as in MMFF, a fifth person would be the fifth wheel, methinks. A fifth of bourbon between four people probably won’t give you “whiskey dick”, but anyway, in foursome there is symmettry - MMFF or MFMF. Other variations such as MMMFF or MMFFF just don’t have that same quality. Therefore, without further ado, allow me to present a snippet of an outstanding MMFF foursome which starts out with just some lesbian sex and then throws two penises into the mix, for a perfect synchronized symmetry of group sex. Click on the pic for the raunch, which also includes fisting thrown in just for kicks.

Share This

Kegelbahn (Bowling Alley) German Weirdness From Kubikfoto of Germany - Interactive Photography That’s Sexy, Funny, Beautiful and Weird as Hell!

Kubikfoto seems to be a design/spot shop that creates interactive imagery that is partly Flash, partly that interactive “Virtual Tour” stuff you see on real estate sites that allows you to zoom in and out - a little bit like the early video game Doom. (And by early I don’t mean Pac Man, but later). Anyway, this kind of blew me away. Total David Lynch weirdness here. A naked girl wearing an Adidas jumpsuit top and nothing else, in an abandoned bowling alley, holding a metal reinder by the leash. But go on, check out the perv with the Wurst sticking out of his trousers. Oh and there’s some interesting stuff in places you might miss. Follow the arrows. And don’t forget to look by the pins. Cool stuff.

Share This

Petra Nemcova and Her Naked Boobs, Plus Jewish Porn and Assraelis

Petra Nemcova goes topless and bares her boobs in this set from a few months ago. I usually don’t care for celebrities or “supermodels” too much but I do like this set of Petra and her tits naked, and since it’s Yom Kippur, here’s a holiday present for our Jewish readers.

Frankly I like the Jewish theme, though a gentile myself, because there should be a bit more “Jewish Porn” out there. I know they’re working on it over in Israel, in between all the bombing and fighting, as evidenced earlier in the year with the release of “Assraelis” which got into hot water with some local Rabbis for posting a “Kosher” symbol on the box, as in 100% Kosher Jewish porn.

Share This

Make War, Not Love by Steven Meisel

Steven Meisel, again shooting for Italian Vogue comes up with another provocative spread after the Supermodels in Rehab, this time more like his last year’s “State of Emergency” which played with the whole anti-terrorism paranoia (seen below and through the link).

This time it’s “Make War, Not Love” which makes the Iraq war look more like something out of “Party Hardcore.”

No big social commentary here, I don’t think. It’s just trying to be shocking one way or another, which is quite popular in fashion advertising particularly in Europe (recall the scandal with the D&G ads). I will say that while the spread is slightly ridiculous as a concept (though outstandingly shot), I certainly prefer to see images like that than this:

Full series here.

Share This

Bestiality Chic from Josie Maran, Terry Richardson, and of Course Bodil Joensen

I recently came across this image which I had seen before from the “On the Farm” spread that Terry Richardson did with supermodel Josie Maran (the one with the appendix scar and of Sports Illustrated, Victoria’s Secret and Guess fame among others) for Sisley. You can see the whole “On the Farm” spread here.

My reaction was the same as when I first saw these photos and similar to the reactions of other people who have seen this set: I couldn’t tell if I was turned on or disgusted and freaked out. Of course sex with animals is as old as the hills. Not my cup of tea for sure, but something that’s well ingrained in our collective memory. Think Greek mythology for starters. While I like Terry Richardson’s work a lot this one was pretty damn fucking insane, though.

Which of course also brought me thinking about the bizarre, sensational and ultimately, incredibly sordid and strange tale of Danish bestiality porn actress Bodil Joensen.

Bodil was actually good looking. She only became a boozer and drug addict when her fame faded. And she actually did enjoy having sex with hogs, horses, dogs and other four footed friends. What is interesting apart from her paraphilia and whether she may or may not have been mentally ill to engage in such activity, is that she became a bit of a pornography sensation. In fact she was a “porn star” in the real sense of the world, written up in the papers, travelling to film festivals, you name it. In fact one of her films was produced by Ole Ege and Shinkichi Tajiri. Exploitation of a woman with serious psychological issues? Most likely. The surprising part is how popular she became, and how the initial shock was also touted as the ultimate form of “sexual liberation.” But the hangover from the 1960s hit in pretty quick and pretty hard. Bodil ended up being forgotten and became a degraded streetwalker in Copenhagen before dying of cirrhosis at the age of 40. Depressing? You bet. Sorry if I’ve ruined your erection you bestiality loving freak! But the point is, it also got me thinking, with the current crop of gonzo porn being aimed more at degradation and shock than arousal, I’m surprised that some kind of faux animal sex themes haven’t been popping up more. And btw, a naked girl on a horse doesn’t count. And also, that when everything is permitted, nothing shocks us anymore. You can read more about Bodil here if you want to keep getting depressed, or aroused, whatever’s your fancy but now let’s get back to some nice fun wholesome PORN.

Share This