How to Get 20 Cute Naked Japanese Girls in a Telephone Booth

More Weird Japan. What is up with those people, anyway? Here’s something from a Japanese TV show with cute naked girls getting stuffed into a phone booth. I’m not sure what the current Japanese porn laws are, but even though bush has to be pixilated, there seems to be plenty of nudity on TV. You can also read up all about the bad fad known as telephone booth stuffing but it’s better when done naked with cute girls.

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Topless BBW A Capella Group

Extraordinarily disturbing video of three BBW or should I say BIGASS-B-W singing a capella! Watch at own risk.

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First Sex With Cars and Now Bicycle Sex, Talk About “WTF?”! Where’s That Stuff on the Fetish Map?

Sometimes the stuff I read on Metro sounds like it came from the Weekly World News, but guess what? It’s all true. Or is it? Back in February they reported on a man who has sex with cars. That’s right. “In stunning news that will have wide ranging implications for many years to come, a man has been found who likes having sex with cars. The details of mechanic Chris Donald’s alleged romantic vehicular liaisons have been unearthed by (naturally) The Sun - who claim that in addition to a large number of cars, Mr Donald has also done the dirty with two boats and a jetski. (Read more) You can also check out Mr. Donald’s blog and instructional manual called “How to Make Love to a Car or Other Vehicle” which features some helpful hints like: “If you anthropomorphasize your 4 wheeled lover, it’s worth remembering that its a fantasy. A fun, sexy fantasy, but a emotional/sexual/mental construct. Despite my own enjoyment, a car isn’t actually a person. Except during sex LOL.” (Full article)
The Jaguar X class is supposedly his lover of choice.

OK so either it’s a joke or he’s a nutjob or both. Or maybe you can’t trust Metro and the Sun, but you can certainly trust the BBC, right? Drumroll please…

Bike sex man placed on probation (Via BBC News)

A man caught trying to have sex with his bicycle has been sentenced to three years on probation. Robert Stewart, 51, admitted a sexually aggravated breach of the peace by conducting himself in a disorderly manner and simulating sex.

Sheriff Colin Miller also placed Stewart on the Sex Offenders Register for three years. Mr Stewart was caught in the act with his bicycle by cleaners in his bedroom at the Aberley House Hostel in Ayr. Gail Davidson, prosecuting, told Ayr Sheriff Court: “They knocked on the door several times and there was no reply. “They used a master key to unlock the door and they then observed the accused wearing only a white t-shirt, naked from the waist down. “The accused was holding the bike and moving his hips back and forth as if to simulate sex.” Both cleaners, who were “extremely shocked”, told the hostel manager who called police. Sheriff Colin Miller told Stewart: “In almost four decades in the law I thought I had come across every perversion known to mankind, but this is a new one on me. I have never heard of a ‘cycle-sexualist’.” Stewart had denied the offence, claiming it was caused by a misunderstanding after he had too much to drink.

I’m a bit speechless. First of all, why didn’t the car guy get arrested? Well, I’m just waitin for the next installment: MOTORCYCLE sex!

BTW, if anyone can please tell me where this insane photo is from I would apreciate it.

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Amputee Sex Dolls, Amputee Porn and Long Jeanne Silver For All You Lovers of Limbless Women

You can of course open up the fetish roadmap and consult it’s position on what amputee porn is, or isn’t. But leave it to the Japanese perverts out there to actually invent an amputee sex doll. My knowledge of the Japanese language is rather limited, and I can’t read the alphabets at all but I think the pictures suffice.

Of course you porn connoisseurs may know that in the rocking and reeling 1970s, when everybody’s ass was up for grabs, certain paraphilias actually commanded respect and admiration - Bodiel Joensen was one example. Another one was “Long Jeanne Silver”, who I first read about in Adam Parfrey’s Apocalypse Culture books, before the interent was invented.

“Jeanne Silver, a pretty amputee, appeared in men’s magazines, and on San Francisco burlesque stages. She had the lower part of her left leg removed when she was a child. The remaining stump, extending several inches below her knee, is little more than bone covered with flesh. Director Alex DeRenzy uses the pseudo-documentary format to display Silver’s sexual habits. She fucks Amber Hunt during a threesome, impales two teenage students and even goes so far as to ram it up a homosexual’s ass. Long regarded as one of the more bizarre films of the 1970’s.” Here is Long Jeanne Silver and her other movies as well.
Now I really don’t know why this fetish is as popular as it is, and that is not to say that it is POPULAR but it’s certainly out there. I would imagine it has something to do with bondage and restraint and making the woman immobile and subservent. Want more, you sick fuck? Kidding. To each his own, I guess. Here’s some more amputee porn if that’s your ticket.

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Pedal Pumping?! Let’s Consult the Fetish Road Map!

Each time I think I’ve seen it all in terms of what fetishes are out there, I inadvertantly see something that blows my mind. Luckily, Katharine Gates’ handy “Fetish Roadmap” can easily point me to the location of gas pedal pumping, which is somewhere right on the border between shoes, high heels, and “car” which is also related to crush freaks and cars stuck in mud, being stuck in quicksand, and “messy fun.” None of which makes any sense to me.

Who am I to judge, however, if all it takes to produce an erection is the sight of a woman’s shoe pushing down on the gas pedal? There seems to be quite a bit of content for this kind of stuff too!

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Sixteen Naked Japanese Girls Blowing Horns, Sucking on Organs and Cracking Nuts in the Japanese Naked Orchestra

I counted sixteen naked Japanese girls in this naked orchestra from Japan. They butcher Tchaikovski’s Nutcracker and like Liberace, they may be great on the piano but they suck on the organ but what the hell, they’re cute. You can always turn the sound down or off and just watch them blow. On a related note, my favourite naked musician is here.

Naked Orchestra - The most amazing bloopers are here

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Designer Merkins For Either Royalty or For the Naked People at Burning Man

Those crazy naked hipster hippie people at Burning Man invented a new accoutrement for their naked - ness. A merkin flashlight. What for? To help your naked ass navigate the “playa”? Perhaps. They say that it’s “The perfect marriage of form and function - our Merkin Flashlight helps leave something to the imagination as well as providing hands free illumination.” From the naked girls at Burning Man that I’ve seen pics of, they usually have a full hairy bush so this invention would probably be redundant.

Moving on to the other end of the spectrum from the freedom loving hippie hipster hooligans, “Vonk” is a company in Holland that produces high-end designer merkins. Despite it’s somewhat grotesque origin (intended to cover up venereal scabs or a shaved crotch that was shaved in order to get rid of lice, etc), the Merkin, the pubic hair toupee is making a comeback. I suppose if you’re into both shaved pussy and hairy pussy equally the way I am, it could be an interesting accoutrement, but they’re not realistic looking. Article is here, but their website is very much under construction so I wouldn’t bother with it for a few weeks or so. The Cleopatra, featured below, retails for just under 400 Euros, so it’s quite an investment to cover up your non-existent bush with a piece of fur and bangles.

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The Incredible Edible Anus For All You Anal Sex, Rimming and Analingus Fans Out There - Though The Chocolate is a Bit Much I Think

Nothing wrong with anal sex, or anal/oral sex i.e. analingus, rimming or however you wish to call it, as long as one practices proper hygiene. But the confectioners who invented the incredible edible chocolate anus are taking things just a bit too far by making chocolates in the shape of an asshole. Not only that but they’re dead serious about it. Therefore I think this oversteps the lines of appreciation of the anus and anal eroticism and goes over into the poop category which is one fetish I am certainly not interested in whatsoever. But to each his own, I suppose, but rest assured, shit doesn’t taste like chocolate. “These chocolates are created with one thing on our mind: to produce a combination of taste and touch that takes you to chocolate anus heaven.” Might be good for a gag gift but then they could have just made chocolate starfish as in the euphemism for the ye olde poop chute. Check out their site by clicking on the photo.

As far as chocolates go, I prefer Nutella!

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Kegelbahn (Bowling Alley) German Weirdness From Kubikfoto of Germany - Interactive Photography That’s Sexy, Funny, Beautiful and Weird as Hell!

Kubikfoto seems to be a design/spot shop that creates interactive imagery that is partly Flash, partly that interactive “Virtual Tour” stuff you see on real estate sites that allows you to zoom in and out - a little bit like the early video game Doom. (And by early I don’t mean Pac Man, but later). Anyway, this kind of blew me away. Total David Lynch weirdness here. A naked girl wearing an Adidas jumpsuit top and nothing else, in an abandoned bowling alley, holding a metal reinder by the leash. But go on, check out the perv with the Wurst sticking out of his trousers. Oh and there’s some interesting stuff in places you might miss. Follow the arrows. And don’t forget to look by the pins. Cool stuff.

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Lars Holdhus “We Should Still Move On” - Art? Social Commentary on Internet Porn? Or Just Good Old Insanity?

I’m all for conceptual art, but I spent a good hour or so scratching my head wondering what this video by artist Lars Holdhus, called “We Should Still Move On” is supposed to be about. It features a fully dressed guy (CFNM is popular ain’t it?) abysmally dancing and singing to Madonna’s “Like a Virgin” while there’s a naked girl on the bed behind him masturbating. This was a WTF moment all the F-ing way.

It took this blog to let me in on the idea that this guy is doing a mash-up of the two supposedly most common things found on youtube and other video sharing sites, or whatever: people singing badly and acting like idiots, and ads/teasers for porn. OK, I get it now. But I have to say, while some will find either humor and or insight from this postmodern mashup piece on the internet age, I’m still far from understanding the point of this as it is ultimately unsatisfying and extremely idiotic, though I suppose if it merited a write up, there must SOMETHING in it? Maybe? Anyone? Anyone? Bueller?

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Orthodox Jew Deaf Porn Star Savannah Jane and Deaf Shemale Porn Stars - What on Earth?

Along with Joanna Angel, Alexandra Silk, Mila Shegol, and probably others that I have missed, porn newcomer Savannah Jane (she entered the biz just a few months ago) is an Orthodox Jew, but there’s one other thing to note: she’s deaf. All the power to her I suppose; she seems to get by allright by either reading lips (no pun intended, I swear) and/or the use of a hearing aid but you can certainly tell she’s deaf in the interview below taken by Luke Ford outside Sardo’s in Burbank. You can read the transcript here. Now, I have and have had several deaf friends and I’m fully sensitive to people with disabilities but two things come to mind: one, hopefully she didn’t actually do any karaoke. Two, I suppose porn acting doesn’t require an ability to enunciate so I’m sure she’ll do fine. Three, this reminds me of the time Ed Sullivan introduced Jose Feliciano on television the first time and said “Not only is he blind, but he’s also Puerto Rican.”

A further internet search for “deaf porn star” revealed a certain Olivia Love, who is not only deaf, but a transsexual/shemale!

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Heroin Chic, Crack Whores, Real Vampire Porn and More Scary Erotic Photography From R.C. Horsch

I’m not easily shocked, but the photography of R. C. Horsch actually give me the willies. His subject matter ranges from glam/babe stuff to some really disturbing imagery. If you thought Larry Clark’s Tulsa was disturbing, or if you found it erotic, whichever, take a look at Horsch’s (or Hoersch’s - no umlauts in my keyboard) work.

The scariest pics on the site are the ones of crack whores and heroin addicts. Personally I think drugs are disgusting and heroin is the worst one.  It is also one of the most un-erotic drugs you can possibly get your hands on because you spend most of your time vomiting, sleeping and copping; it kills your sex drive and you can literally go for years without fucking if you don’t die first. So with these photos, do you find them arousing or repulsive? I am sure some folks would say arousing.

I think that objectively, Clark is most likely a better photographer. What’s interesting in the comparison is that while Clark puts superficial claims of being a cultural anthropologist or whatever, we know he enjoys shooting and looking at teen smut much like Pasolini probably actually enjoyed the coprophilia scenes in Salo but decided to call it a metaphor for Fascist Italy. Horsch is a little more complicated. He doesn’t reveal himself too much but he also makes no pretense to distance himself from finding this disturbing imagery erotic. Anyway, you check it out. If you’re brave.

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Japanese Air Sex is the Dumbest Thing Ever but Pretty Funny

If you thought air guitar was lame or stupid, or at least the air guitar competition they hold up in Helsinki for some reason, you’re wrong. “Air Sex” from Japan is the cake taker in the lameness category but this video clip is pretty hysterical.

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The Most Shocking Photo You’ll See in LA? I’m Not Shocked, it’s Just Buck Angel, the Man With the Pussy!

Laist.com wrote just a few days ago (too bad I missed it), about a recent art opening in Hollywood, which featured “the most shocking photo… yadda yadda…” No it’s not GG Allin come to life (although considering GG’s miniscule penis, this man with a pussy sure could be a dead ringer, so to speak). It’s just Buck Angel, “the man with the pussy”, and popular Female-to-Male (FTM) transsexual porn star. Different strokes I suppose, but few things shock me, although I’ll admit that when I first saw a photo of Buck, years ago, I almost had a heart attack because in my ignorance and surprise, I thought this was actually a GUY who lopped off his penis. Silly me.

Buck has been keeping busy lately, and good for him/her, recently completing another epic motion picture, Buckback Mountain!

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The Succubus by Alva Bernadine and His Wacky World of Sexual & Fetish Surrealism

Alva Bernadine is a UK based photographer whose work revolves around surrealism, fetishism and lots of bizarre humour. “He sums up his philosophy in five words: astound, confound, intimidate and gorgonise.” He also seems to be mildly obsessed by the concept of the succubus.

Fascinating stuff and pretty funny IMO, but if you look at the comments for the youtube video, the past 100 or so say simply “WTF.”

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Womb’s Eye View Through the Vagina Cam

What does it actually look like down there as the penis enters the vagina? I’ve actually always wondered about this. I mean, hasn’t everyone? Not sure where I found this animation but if the animator does an anal one as well that may be interesting to see, though potentially shocking.

As always this gets me thinking of stupid old jokes. Q: What’s the best thing about being a test tube baby? A: You get a womb with a view! Har har hardy har hard…

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Penis Museum in Iceland Finally Finds a Human Specimen but I Think the Director Should Lay off the Akvavit, or the Crack

For those of you unfamiliar with Iceland’s Penis Museum, also known as the Icelandic Phallological Museum, it contains hundreds of preserved penises and penis parts. Supposedly, the one specimen they were lacking was a human, until recently when a geezer donated his privates to be added to the collection.

This is all fine and dandy except for two minor things. First of all, a quick look through their collections shows this rather odd specimen named “Elmo” which certainly looks like a real human dick. The photo is a bit too low res to read the full text but it mentions it as “the American donor.”

Second, if you look through their website, you will notice that included in the collection are “merman”, troll, “beach murmurer” (according to the site “One legged, one armed and one eyed human monster who tried to push people into the sea and kill them there”) and, the piece de resistance, and my personal favourite, the “Enriching Beach Mouse”, which is “A mouse that draws money from the sea to enrich her owner. Found on the south coast in November 1993.” I know Icelandic winters are long and cold, and summers short and freezing. But I think the Museum director has been overdoing it with the booze.

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Nyotaimori is Eating Sushi Off a Naked Girl

Nyotaimori (Japanese: 女体盛り, “female body presentation”), often referred to as “body sushi”, is the practice of eating sashimi or sushi from the body of a woman, typically naked. This sexual fetish is a subdivision of food play. As a result of being served on a human body, the temperature of the sushi or sashimi comes closer to body temperature, which some may see as a disadvantage or a benefit.

Before becoming a living sushi platter, the person is trained to lie down for hours without moving. She or he must also be able to withstand the prolonged exposure to the cold food. Body hair, including pubic hair, would also be shaved as a display of pubic hair may be seen as a sexual act.

Before service, the individual would take a bath using a special fragrance-free soap and then finish off with a splash of cold water to cool the body down somewhat for the sushi.

In some parts of the world, in order to comply with sanitation laws, there must be a layer of plastic or other material between the sushi and the body of the woman or man. Wrapping a naked person in cling film may also be regarded as a form of fetishism.

Even less common, but not unheard of, is the practice of using a male model for the same purpose, this would be called 男体盛り, nantaimori. Another variation of the human platter is the “bondage sushi bar”, which can be found in some BDSM conventions and play parties in Britain and in Europe. In this variation, the individual acting as a living sushi plate is tied up to hinder movement or prevent it altogether. Nyotaimori could be considered a form of erotic humiliation.

I think I need to add a new category for “weird Japan” because those people never cease to amaze me. Although I’ve heard of the concept of eating sushi off a naked chick before, here is a video of it in action.

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“Stab victim continued masturbating” when he went on a Masturbation Marathon!

Absolute utter insanity from Australia.

“Defence lawyers for Kylie Louise Wilson, 28, said the mother of two “lost it” when her friend of six years, Daniel Peter Blair, went on a masturbation marathon on April 6 last year. ”

Apparently Ms. Wilson’s buddy Daniel came over to her house, starting popping uppers (or god knows maybe doing meth) and couldn’t stop jerking off. In front of her. “Mr Blair refused her repeated requests to stop, prompting her to fetch a knife from the kitchen which she used to stab him twice in the left shoulder.” But the best part of it is, he continued his masturbation marathon after receiving two stab wounds

“Despite his injury, it seems (Mr Blair) continued to masturbate while in the garage,” the prosecutor said.

Read the full story here. Why is this so funny? And who is more insane? You see? Drugs can be dangerous in more ways than one!

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Hihokan Erotic Museum

More wacky stuff from our friends back east. After the insanity of Cheju or Jeju Island here’s a great Flick set from Japan. No, Hihokan is not a place. It means “House of Hidden Treasures”. From Wikipedia: In Japan, there are many sex museums called “Hihokan (House of Hidden Treasures)” everywhere across the country. They are located in amusement centers in popular sightseeing spots or spa resorts, and ran by individuals, not by organizations… [read more]

That’s all fine and dandy but, why are they so bizarre?!

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