First Sex With Cars and Now Bicycle Sex, Talk About “WTF?”! Where’s That Stuff on the Fetish Map?

Posted in Bizarre, News, Humor, WTF?, Fetish on November 20, 2007

Sometimes the stuff I read on Metro sounds like it came from the Weekly World News, but guess what? It’s all true. Or is it? Back in February they reported on a man who has sex with cars. That’s right. “In stunning news that will have wide ranging implications for many years to come, a man has been found who likes having sex with cars. The details of mechanic Chris Donald’s alleged romantic vehicular liaisons have been unearthed by (naturally) The Sun - who claim that in addition to a large number of cars, Mr Donald has also done the dirty with two boats and a jetski. (Read more) You can also check out Mr. Donald’s blog and instructional manual called “How to Make Love to a Car or Other Vehicle” which features some helpful hints like: “If you anthropomorphasize your 4 wheeled lover, it’s worth remembering that its a fantasy. A fun, sexy fantasy, but a emotional/sexual/mental construct. Despite my own enjoyment, a car isn’t actually a person. Except during sex LOL.” (Full article)
The Jaguar X class is supposedly his lover of choice.

OK so either it’s a joke or he’s a nutjob or both. Or maybe you can’t trust Metro and the Sun, but you can certainly trust the BBC, right? Drumroll please…

Bike sex man placed on probation (Via BBC News)

A man caught trying to have sex with his bicycle has been sentenced to three years on probation. Robert Stewart, 51, admitted a sexually aggravated breach of the peace by conducting himself in a disorderly manner and simulating sex.

Sheriff Colin Miller also placed Stewart on the Sex Offenders Register for three years. Mr Stewart was caught in the act with his bicycle by cleaners in his bedroom at the Aberley House Hostel in Ayr. Gail Davidson, prosecuting, told Ayr Sheriff Court: “They knocked on the door several times and there was no reply. “They used a master key to unlock the door and they then observed the accused wearing only a white t-shirt, naked from the waist down. “The accused was holding the bike and moving his hips back and forth as if to simulate sex.” Both cleaners, who were “extremely shocked”, told the hostel manager who called police. Sheriff Colin Miller told Stewart: “In almost four decades in the law I thought I had come across every perversion known to mankind, but this is a new one on me. I have never heard of a ‘cycle-sexualist’.” Stewart had denied the offence, claiming it was caused by a misunderstanding after he had too much to drink.

I’m a bit speechless. First of all, why didn’t the car guy get arrested? Well, I’m just waitin for the next installment: MOTORCYCLE sex!